Play Therapy in Seattle: How It Helps Children Regulate Emotions and Behavior

As Back to School Day approaches in Seattle — Sept. 2 — many of you know it can stir up more than just scrambling for supplies and setting alarm clocks.

Underneath the surface, kids might be juggling anxiety, big feelings and the challenges of transitioning from freewheeling summer to more structured days.

Even a child who seemed excited about school last week might suddenly complain of a stomachache, snap at everyone over breakfast or refuse to put on their shoes.

Ronan Allison, a child therapist at Puget Sound Psychotherapy and Psychiatry, said defiant behavior or physical symptoms can be signs of another issue.

"Kids often show us things before they can explain why," said Ronan, who is a play therapist. "A short fuse can be useful information, but we shouldn't think about it like, 'How do we stop this behavior?'"

Instead, start prepping now, and the transition will be a lot smoother.

Reset sleep and morning routines before school begins

Going from summer hours to a school schedule overnight is hard on everyone.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends returning to an earlier bedtime at least a week before school starts. School-age children generally need 9 to 12 hours of sleep, while teenagers need 8 to 10.

You don't have to make the change all at once. Move bedtime and wake-up time earlier by 15 or 30 minutes every few days. Practice getting out of the house at the time your child will need to leave for school.

Reduce morning decisions by packing backpacks and choosing clothes the night before. For younger kids, a simple picture schedule can show what happens next. Teens might prefer a checklist on their phone.

Stay grounded to keep them calm

Children notice the tension of the adults around them. If you are speaking quickly and issuing five instructions at once, your child receives the message that the morning really is an emergency.

Before responding to a meltdown, pause. Lower your voice and give one direction at a time.

If your child is nervous at drop-off, you can acknowledge their fears while still communicating confidence.

"I know you wish you could stay home. I also know we have a plan for getting you inside."

Create a short, predictable goodbye. Tell your child who will meet them and when you will return: "Ms. Taylor will walk in with you. I'll pick you up after art, and then we'll have a snack."

Avoid sneaking away or returning several times. Both can make future separations harder.

Set aside some low-demand time after school

School requires children to follow directions, manage frustration and navigate a busy social environment for hours. Even kids who enjoy school may come home depleted.

During the first few weeks, protect some time for a snack, movement, quiet play or simply being alone.

And try not to make the first five minutes after pickup an interview. Conversation can happen later while you walk, cook dinner or do something else together.

Listen about the day without grilling them

"How was school?"

"Fine."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

Direct questions do not always help children talk. Instead, try reflecting what you notice:

"That lunch situation sounds awkward."

"Sounds like you worked hard to hold it together today."

Listen before offering solutions. Sometimes children want help solving a problem. Other times, they simply want an adult to understand that the day was difficult.

Younger children may communicate more easily while drawing or playing. Teens often talk more while riding in the car, walking or doing something beside you.

Contact the school before there is a crisis

Teachers, counselors and school psychologists are already part of your child's support system. Introduce yourself early, especially if your child has anxiety, is neurodivergent or has a 504 plan or Individualized Education Program.

Tell the school what they might notice and what usually helps. For a younger child, consider creating a one-page "About Me" sheet with their interests, signs they are becoming overwhelmed and a few strategies that help.

Ask who can meet your child at the entrance or provide a quieter place to settle. Older children should have a say in what gets shared and which adult they would feel comfortable approaching.

When back-to-school anxiety needs more support

Some anxiety is expected during a transition. When it repeatedly interferes with attendance, sleep, eating or activities your child normally enjoys, then it might be time to get some help.

Repeated headaches or stomachaches should also be discussed with your child's doctor. If your child panics at drop-off, frequently visits the school nurse or refuses to attend, you should consider reaching out.